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Who’s the Worst YouTube Rapper of All-Time?Posted by Nathan S. on 08/20/13 | Filed under Top Stories, Humor, Debates
Before we get started though, some ground rules. First, a YouTube rapper is someone whose rap existence is dependent solely on YouTube. So while Lil B, Soulja Boy etc. are certainly YouTube staples, like it or not, they've built careers that extend beyond pageviews. Second, I'm automatically taking off Rebecca Black, Eli Porter and 50 Tyson, who are already so well known it feels redundant to bring them up. And last by not least, I'm also removing anyone who's joking, is self-aware of their "terribleness", etc. and are playing off it for attention (that disqualifies Krispy Kreme, Yung Lean, Little Pain, etc.) We're only looking for people who are earnestly rapping. This can be the trickiest criteria to meet, especially in 2013, but we'll do out best.
Got it? Good, let's do the damn thing:
Best/Worst Line: "Allright, let's find [?] / we're on the road / goin down / gettin off the intersection at 283."
Highlight/Lowlight: So many options, the nervous giggle when the beat doesn't play on time has to be up there, when the beat drops out but HE STILL HAS MORE BARS FOR THIS HATER, but it's the fake run at 1:58 that really proves his dedication to his craft.
Best/Worst Line: Clearly the hook: "I got because, because I got."
Highlight/Lowlight: This one's tough, it just might maybe be a conscious joke, but if not...that prance/jig move at the :30 mark is just all sorts of fantasticness.
Best/Worst Line: "And I ain't talkin Spanish I'm just speakin and shit."
Highlight/Lowlight: Now a lot of people are going to say when he passes out, but I'd argue that the minute and half after he passes out, when you can just hear him rolling around on the floor, is better than anything we see.
Highlight/Lowlight:Although I wasn't familiar with D4nny before I began "researching" this article, it would appear that the man's a bit of an internet sensation, and is barely a "rapper" even in the loosest sense of the word, but if Drake can be a rapper, fuck it, so can D4nny. He's like the Rakim of the sad rap world. Anyway.....in the beginning when he throws down the cell phone just barely before we hear "goodbye"? Brilliance.
Best/Worst Line: "Fuck the tile / I'm the fucking man who can do it...awhile."
Highlight/Lowlight: For the record, this the only one I feel just a little guilty about - let's just say our dear friend DJ Smile clearly has some life issues, and by life issues, I mean is doing enough meth to keep Heisenberg in business by himself. But still, when he looks off camera to talk to someone at the :32 mark? That has to go down as one of the greatest moments in freestyle history.
Best/Worst Line: "We got the Gucci interior / Louis Vuitton pattern...."
Highlight/Lowlight: I had to close out strong with one of my favorites, and an old school RefinedHype selection (my true RH heads now what I mean). His friends may be in on the joke/fucking with him, but I've got the feeling Kurt is dead fucking serious. Also, that wave montage around :18 is magical.
Honorable Mention: A salute to Denny Blazin, the man who should really be considered the forefather of bad YouTube rap. That man was going hard literally decades before YouTube even existed.
I'd like to believe I've thrown out some strong candidates, but if you think you can top me (aka out-awful me), then by all means, have at it people. Ah, YouTube rap - it's almost hard to remember what we made fun of before it.
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