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The RefinedHype Guide to Rapper Poses, An Absurdly Detailed InvestigationPosted by Lucas G. on 11/26/13 | Filed under Top Stories, Humor, Absurdly Detailed Investigations
Here at RefinedHype we pride ourselves on going where other journalists (like Huffington Post or CNN) are too scared too. Anyone can write about what is going on with the health care crisis or the Middle East, but it takes a real set of journalistic stones to look into things like rappers saying shit before they rap or Kanye West fighting with street signs. In yet another harrowing example of journalistic integrity and mettle, RefinedHype will now break another huge story with an absurdly detailed investigation into rapper poses. Pulitzer anyone?
For all you up-and-coming emcees out there who practice their flow and wordplay everyday, you are doing it wrong. The real key to being a successful rapper is finding a signature pose that makes you look good for the camera. If you don’t have a good pose, like the ones below, then nobody will take you seriously. It might be mean but it’s the facts. Think Outkast or KRS got where they are by rapping? Wrong, it is all about how you look. So lets dig right in.
The Hands Towards the Camera pose:
Rappers holding their hands out to the camera seems to be a popular pose for purveyors of the prose. It makes the person at home feel like they are right there and adds some artsy range and depth to your photos. Hands to the camera is always a good choice.
The King of this pose looks to be Eminem. He has mastered the art of looking tough yet pensive and drawing you in with his hands. He even added his own spice to it, doing this thing were he reaches out to the camera, somewhat resembling a stereotypical Shakespearean actor reciting lines; like if Romeo’s hands fell asleep. See below, and here and here.
Either he is a posing genius, or just really likes Ricky Bobby.
The Point at the Camera Pose:
Please, don’t make the rookie mistake and confuse hands to the camera and pointing to the camera. Hands to the camera is more welcoming and approachable, but pointing to the camera gives of that serious vibe. Pointing demands you pay respect—it commands your attention—whereas hand to the camera is a little more pensive and engaging.
Don’t forget the very rare double point; dangerous yet when done correctly all the more effectivem, and you don’t even have to point a the camera either; perhaps you are pointing to another person in the picture as an assist. Just in case everyone can't see the other person. Or maybe it's a sign of humility, like "This is the most important person on this picture":
The Fake Gun Pose:
He even uses real guns too! And shoes! Sidenote: what the hell does this mean? Is he trying to kill himself and his shoes? Don’t do it Ross, your shoes have so much to live for!
After all that gun talk its time to finally bring some piece back into the world with some peace signs. Below and here.
The angle of the peace sign is very important. If it is sideways, it is more like a peace out thing, but an upright deuce obviously means peace, as in world peace. Here is the perfect example. Kendrick has more attitude solely because his piece sign is totally horizontal and and Em has a 45 degree angle. You gotta think Em wanted to go with a Point at the Camera, but then saw Kendrick's deuces and decided to switch it up.
The Hold Mah Chainnnnnn Pose
Hands aren’t the only prop rappers are known to use. Rappers are known to accentuate their jewelry, you know, in case you somehow missed their comically large, gawdy chains. Below, and here, here and here.
I wonder what this rapper’s name is?
Okay this is getting ridiculous. There are still plenty more to talk about like the Chin scratch, the scowl, the “oh you are taking a picture? I didn’t even realize”, and of course the outstretched arms, soaking all the glory of an adoring public, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. Bottom line is, rappers pose a lot, and a proper pose can make or break your career. This just goes to show that every rapper should have a posing choreographer in their team. It doesn’t matter what your music sounds like, if you look good posing you are set. In fact, I think I might quit RefnedHype and become hip-hop's first posing coach. See you in the tabloids y’all.
P.S.- My google search history just looks absurd right now.
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