Your Favorite Rapper is Poor: One-Hit Wonder Edition

Despite the contrast mantra to "keep it real," hip-hop is pervaded with myths, legends and illusions. Turns out Akon wasn't really a convict, Rick Ross was a prison guard and Vanilla Ice wasn't really from the streets (ok, maybe that last one was obvious). But in the "Whatever Your Like" era there's no greater myth than that of the rich rapper. Sadly, despite the constant barrage of videos featuring rappers wearing diamond chains while driving Bentley's covered in diamonds, most emcees don't have anything more in their bank accounts than your average 9-to-5er. Because I believe the myth of hip-hop wealth is one of the most destructive forces in the game, I'm launching a new mini-series investigating the behind-the-scenes finances that rarely see the light of day. Today, we'll explore the one-hit wonder.

As a general rule, if you're a rapper I've never heard of, and you're sending me songs about how you own a private jet, you're lying. How do I know? Because even rappers with hit singles are broke. To illustrate, let's take my new imaginary rapper MC Wannebe. MC Wannabe has been grinding for years, dreaming of the day he'll be able to chill his champagne with frozen diamonds. After making some connections, he gets Lil Wayne to drop a verse on his new song (cost: $75,000), and then convinces Polow da Don to throw in an ill beat (Polow gambles and chooses to take 3% instead of a flat fee).

Together they put together Wannabe's new single "I Wanna Be Rich". Based on the strength of the single, major label Rip Off Records signs him to a deal and starts pushing the song, and it becomes a hit!Over the course of its time on the charts it sells 1,00,000 copies. One million copies! He's made it! He's rich, right?

Wrong. It's a huge oversimplification, but in order to make the math easy...

* iTunes charges $.99 per song: (.99) x (1,000,000) = $990,000

* iTunes takes 35% of all sales (approx. $350,000), so now we're down to $640,000

* Being a new artist, Wannabe's deal gives him 10% (which is average), so after his label Rip You Off Records takes its 90% (approx. $575,000) he's left with $65,000.

* He still needs to pay Polow his 3% of the original profits ($19,200), plus Wayne's $75,000. Now he's down to...um...negative $29,200. That's right, despite selling one million copies and having his face plastered all over BET, Wannabe's nearly $30,000 in debt.

In a sad, but all too common, scenario, Wannabe never has another hit and Rip Off Records pushes his album back continuously. He asks to leave Rip Off Records, and because they're convinced he's done, they decide to cut their losses and let him go. Now all Wannabe has to do is figure out how he's going to pay back that 30 grand. (And I haven't even touched on publishers, songwriters and a host of other folks lining up to take their cut).

So you still want to be a rap superstar?

In the next edition of Your Favorite Rapper's Poor, we'll tackle the legendary world of the advance! Keep it locked.

* Let me emphasize, every deal's different, and the math above is only a generalization. So rappers, don't send me whining emails about how I'm making you look bad.