Nathan S. 's avatar

What’s the Worst Hip-Hop Song of All-Time?

Posted by Nathan S. on 07/10/13 | Filed under Debates, RH Nation Answers
In all honesty, a lot of the time when I do a new Question of the Week (and by "a lot of the time" I mean every week) I try to do something positive. It's dope to see people throw out the first line they memorized or their favorite Eminem song. But sometimes...FUCK THAT. Sometimes you just have to relieve some stress by chugging down an ice cold bottle of Haterade.

So with that in mind, I'm not going to half ass this thing. As long as we're going negative, let's go all the way negative: What's the Worst Hip-Hop Song of All-Time?

As always, before we get into the specifics, we need to outline some guidelines. First, the key word here is obviously "worst". Just like when we debate "best", significance and impact matters. Sure, we could spend all day sharing terrible rap videos people made in their mom's basement, but so what? By contrast, I don't think there's a Jay-Z song really in this discussion, but if the most powerful man in hip-hop did even a pretty bad song, now that's something to talk about. (Keep this in mind when marinating on Soulja Boy/Lil B/etc.'s place in this discussion.)

Also, just like "best", there's definitely going to be a real amount of subjectivity here. I think we'll all be able to generally agree what's classic and what's atrocious, but what makes something more atrocious than something else atrocious is a matter of personal opinion. That's part of the fun with these things, finding out what makes individual people lose their shit.

Ok, now let's get into some nominees. The song that first comes to mind is the Shop Boyz' "Party Like a Rockstar" - motherfucking sweet baby jesus did I hate this song. And what really makes the hatred worse is how many "this is the beginning of a true rock-rap hybrid era" articles were written at the time. Wrong, that wasn't the start of a new era, it was a fucking gimmick song that's now the answer to a trivia question. the same logic it just didn't have the impact to earn it that worst spot. In more recent memory, LL Cool J's "Accidental Racist" was so terrible I just realized I had blocked it out of my mind like some sort of rap PTSD, but that song was so ridiculous it ended up being more funny than infuriating.

No, my pick for the Worst Rap Song of All-Time was, and is, Puffy's "Been Around the World"...

As I mentioned, I'm completely willing to admit that a large part of my hatred here is irrational. Yes, this song sucks, but when I'm watching the video it's probably a bit much for me to wish that the plane crashed in the Andes mountains and Puffy was forced to eat Mase's chubby ass to survive like a rap version of "Alive". Here's a more logical argument:

* This song was a fucking number one single that went double platinum. DOUBLE PLATINUM. At the time you couldn't turn on MTV without seeing this (back when MTV showed videos) - like a musical "Saw" contraption, it was inescapable.
* It's off Puffy's "No Way Out" album...which won a Grammy for Best Rap Album...over Wu-Tang's "36 Chambers". Fuck this album, fuck it to death.
* It further cemented rap's 'shiny suit" era which, if you think living in the skinny jeans rap era is bad, was way worse.
* Way to honor the memory of your recently passed friend Biggie by sampling him on your shitty song Puffy. You couldn't have stopped after "I'll Be Missing You"?
* I'm fully prepared to argue that "Player please, I'm the macaroni with the cheese" is one of the laziest lines in rap history. You can literally hear Puffy (or more accurately his ghostwriter) thinking: "Player please, I'm....driving Lamborghinis? No, doesn't flow right. Player please, I'm.....flying private jets to the West Indies? No, too obscure. Wait, I got it! Player please, I'm the macaroni with the cheese!" Brilliant! So what if Puffy just called himself macaroni and that doesn't really make any fucking sense, I'm telling you, this line if perfect!'

Honestly, I think I have to stop before I get so worked up I punch a baby. I think I've made my point, now it's time to turn things over to RefinedHype Nation. So, what you got? Don't hold back, let the hatred flow my friends. Let it flow....

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