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This Is My Rifle: Tits, Ass & Popular MusicPosted by Jason James on 02/25/12 | Filed under Features, This Is My Rifle
Ok, time to take a break. After a month's worth of research in preparation for my SOPA and NDAA articles, my head began to feel like a ball of static electricity and I was sliding dangerously close to schizophrenic on the paranoia meter. It's an odd world we live in, and due to my obsessive need to constantly pull back the layers of evil that currently blanket western society, I've found myself knee deep in some of the most corrupted, twisted ideas the human mind can conjure.
So this week I'm making my return to the hilariously diluted, egomaniacally fantastic, magnificently delusional realm of popular music and culture. Yup, I'm officially turning off my conspiracy radar, tuning into the fuckery and listing my observations below for all to read.
(Please note that while a lot of what I'm talking about today may be old news to you, 99.9% of the time I could give a fuck less about what's happening in the mainstream and so I'm just getting the details now. Consider this an off day.)
Alright, let's do this shit.
The Common/Drake "Issue" - First off, I just wanna say that we need to stop using the term "beef" so loosely when referring to disagreements between rappers. Unless somebody gets socked in the face or there's more than a 50% chance of it happening, arguments between rappers should not be classified as "beef". With that said, this whole Common/Drake thing will remain in the "dispute" category until Drake steps out from behind his security and catches an eye jammy.
The story goes as follows; Common dates Serena Williams for a while, Common and Serena break-up, Drake manages to get her over to his place and then posts a video of her shaking her ass on the Internet, the Earth's magnetic field is disrupted by an onslaught of simultaneous boners, Common loses his shit and releases "Sweet", Drake doesn't understand why Common's pissed and throws some sideways subliminal jabs on the "Stay Schemin Remix", Common flips his lid again, removes French Montana from the song and spanks Drake publicly.
To properly explain the situation at hand, I would now like to quote the character Sonny from the movie "A Bronx Tale":
"You're only allowed three great women in your lifetime. They come along like the great fighters, every ten years. Rocky Marciano, Sugar Ray Robinson, Joe Louis. Sometimes you get'em all at once. Me? I had my three when I was 16. That happens. What are you gonna do? That's the way it goes, you know? Tell you right now. See this girl? Maybe this girl, she put wind in your sails. Maybe she's your first great one."
Truer words have never been spoken. Unlike women, men are fucking stupid and we need 3 "great ones" because we tend to fuck up the first 2 so bad that we need a 3rd try to get it right, and judging by the way Common reacted (2 songs and numerous references dedicated to her on "The Dreamer/The Believer") Serena Williams was one of his great ones. Do you know what that means? He now has only 1 or 2 (or zero) more shots with this relationship thing and on top of that he has to deal with the thought of some rapper dude half his age sticking it to his girl.
Every man on the planet has at some point in time had to envision his girl with another dude, but just imagine that guy is Drake. If it were me I'd be on some "Marlon Brando, Apocalypse Now, blood and guts all over my face, hanging out in the jungle" type shit. Also keep in mind that Common single handedly destroyed the Westside Connection (the 90's, West Coast version of Slaughterhouse) and none of them fucked his girl. I think it'd be in Drake's best interest to apologize for the mix-up and leave this one alone.
Speaking of Drake….
The Illuminati & Hip Hop- A few years ago I made my debut on Refined Hype with an article about the Illuminati’s non-existence in Hip Hop. At the time I was fairly convinced that neither Jay-Z, Kanye West, Rihanna nor anybody associated with Hip Hop music and culture was in any way affiliated with the Illuminati whatsoever. Since that time I’ve noticed some of the imagery they’ve used in their recent musical releases and I’m not so sure I was correct in my assessment of the subject.
My opinion began to change when I saw Jay-Z’s video for “On To The Next One” and Kanye’s video for “Power”. Both videos are so packed full of occult symbolism that I could spend an entire article breaking down what it is and what they’re referencing. Then I saw Drake’s “Take Care” album cover, which prominently displays a golden owl (in occultism this represents Moloch, a commonly worshipped figure amongst secret societies. For more info on this, just watch Alex Jones’ “Dark Secrets Inside Bohemian Grove”. He actually catches the ritual on tape and it’s probably the creepiest thing you’ll ever see) and then Jay-Z was wearing a hoodie with the words “Do As Thou Wilt” printed across the front in a behind the scenes clip from his “Run This Town” video.
The full version of this quote is, “Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law” and was taken from the “Book Of Law” written by Aleister Crowley, famed occultist and Satanist.
After seeing all of this, I definitely think there’s more going on here. I’m not certain but it’s something that I’ll be doing some research on in the future. Maybe I’ll pick it all apart and let you guys decide. I know I say some pretty crazy shit in this column, but I’m still very skeptical of the possibility that Jay, Kanye or Drake could be involved with any of these organizations. Maybe they’re just dabbling in the occult like Madonna dabbles in whatever will get her some attention.
Which brings me to my next topic….
Madonna’s Super Bowl Half-Time Show - Jesus, God please make this woman stop already. How old is this chick? Like 75? For fuck sakes, the show’s over. Call it a day. Watching Madonna painstakingly writhe around a stage half way through the greatest sporting event known to man was like standing outside the gates of heaven and being told that you can only get in if you cut your dick off and feed it to a pack of rabid possums. It’s almost as if the NFL’s executive branch got together and said, “How can we fuck this up worse than last year? We’ve gotta make these viewers WORK for the second half! Who’s more unbearable than the Black Eyed Peas? Wait, wait, I’ve got it. Is Madonna still alive? Perfect”.
I know a lot of people out there are appalled that I would ever say such a thing, but Madonna is to music what spam is to meat. Her career is the very definition of the word “gimmick”. I know she always comes up with some bullshit explanation as to why she’s doing what she’s doing at the time (i.e., shitting on religion, releasing a book that “challenges” the conventional ideas of sex, adopting African babies, changing her mind about religion then joining some obscure form of Judaism and making it trendy) but her attempts to create controversy in order to promote herself are so transparent she makes a glass of water look like the Berlin Wall. If she ever had a sincere bone in her body, she sold it for tabloid coverage a long time ago.
But at least she manages to pull together some half-witted statements in order to anchor her disingenuous gimmicks. As for this next artist…..
Nicki Minaj’s Grammy Performance - Hey, Nicki! You know what would be super fucking awesome? If you show up to the Grammy’s with some old guy dressed up like The Pope. And then your performance should be a drawn-out, confusing theatrical mindfuck that totally disrespects Catholicism. Nothing drums up that much needed album-selling controversy like a total display of contempt for religion. Madonna did it and look where she is now!
Wanna know what else is super cool? The fact that hundreds of thousands of people around the world are murdered every year because of their religious beliefs. Muslims and Christians hate each other because they both believe that their God is the one true God but both of their Gods are pretty much the same God just translated differently (confused?). Unfortunately, people on both sides will die over this conflict while believing that they will be rewarded for their sacrifice in the after life. Christians and Catholics in Northern Ireland have been killing each other for decades over their God and they believe in the exact same God from the exact same book! I’m sure they would all appreciate it if you bent over and dropped a big steaming pile of shit all over them. Fucking radical!
Chris Brown & Rihanna - Psych. As Nathan S. told you last week, we don't play that shit around here.
I think I’m gonna stop here and call it a wrap. The more I write about this stuff, the more I wanna move to a deserted island and never be heard from again. I actually feel dumber just acknowledging that this shit even exists.
I guess the music industry is right. I’m just not built for the mainstream.
(Jason James is an artist, freelance columnist and writer for RefinedHype.com. You can listen/download his most recent album, "Marvelous World Of Color", here and you can contact him here and here.)