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This Pussy Dripping Rap Thing Has Gone Way Too Far (NSFW)

Posted by Nathan S. on 04/22/11 | Filed under Top Stories, Features
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The current rap game is essentially in a constant state of one-upping. The first dude says he sold drugs on the corner, so the next dude says he ran the drug market in his city, so the next dude says he ran the entire west coast and before you know it, dudes are rhyming about how Noreiga took orders from them. (Not that Noriega, the real Noreiga.) The need to always go bigger than the next man is why we now get songs about unsigned rappers who own jets, pack more heat than T.I. and, increasingly, fuck women with absurdly wet vaginas.

(Oh, in case you haven't already figured it out, this post's not exactly family/work friendly. There, you've officially been warned.)

The thing about the pussy dripping phenomenon, as I've officially labeled it, though, is unlike having an incredible amount of money or being the baddest dude on the block, it's actually gotten to the point where it's just gross. No longer content to merely rhyme about women getting wet, we're now deluged with rhymes about rappers being swept away by pussy tsunamis. Which, I don't think I have to say, is kind of fucking disgusting .

Although I'm sure others will be able to name even earlier examples, as far as I can determine, the first rapper to really get the ball rolling on heavily moistened female genitalia is Ludacris. Who could forget his classic line, "They go to sleep countin sheep and shit / they so wet that they bodies start to leak and shit" from Missy's "One Minute Man".



From there it's been a slow, gradual game of increasingly absurd wet ill na na references, but things seemed to have really passed the tipping point and reached levels of almost unlistenable grossness in 2011. Just take Chris Brown's new single "Wet the Bed", which to come full circle also featurea Luda. Hey, at least Breezy acknowledges his pussy dripping rap history:



Besides the fact that the mere title "Wet the Bed" has gross R. Kelly/golden shower connotations, we're treated to lyrics about like "I ain't afraid to drown, if that means I'm deep up in your ocean" and "I'll drink you down, sippin on your body all night". Just so we're clear, he's talking about drowning in and drinking up her pussy juices. And just in case that wasn't clear enough, the beat contains what I have to assume is the sound of a leaking vagina.

But that's just the tip of the pussy dripping rap phenomenon. I was barely paying attention when I first heard Sean Garrett's new single "In Da Box" until I heard the man actually say "She like to call me her baby, I like to call her my squirter." Ex-fucking cuse me? (3:10 for those who don't want to sit through the whole thing.)



I can't say for certain, sadly Wikipedia doesn't keep a list of pussy dripping rap songs (yet), but I'm pretty sure that's the first open squirting endorsement in hip-hop history. Hey, if that's your thing, fine, but the fact that it's now acceptable to talk about squirting in a mainstream rap song shows you just how far gone we are.

And just the other day I opened up my inbox to the sight of a subject line that, frankly, inspired me to write this article.

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At first that was perhaps the most secretly hilarious email I've ever received. Not only is Mynk Floyd a horribly fantastic name for a rapper, but unless he wants to fuck furniture I assume he's making the "coochie", not the "couchie" drip. But the more I thought about it the more angry I got, so let me be clear - the insanity has to stop. At this pace we're about six months from songs about white water rafting in vaginal wetness.

Enough is enough rappers, let's stop now before we really do go too far.

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