Jadakiss, Nipsey Hussle & More Take Turns Sucking Up to Lebron on “I Am the Man” (Listen & Download)

I threw this into yesterday's "Daily Re-Up", but I thought it was definitely worthy of a more in-depth breakdown. Long story short, Vitamin Water teamed up with Don Cannon to produce some tracks about Lebron, and the first result of Cannon's labors is "I Am the Man", a cut that finds Jadakiss, Nipsey Hu$$le, Mikey Rocks, Brisco, Uncle Murda & Chip Tha Ripper trying to convince Bron Bron to sign with their respective cities. Who's got the best pitch? Let's find out. (Download link and player are at the bottom of the page.)

Jadakiss (New York Knicks) - Jada's got the easiest sell by far. "More opportunities, that's between you and me, night life, bright lights, fans on the sidelines..." Yep, that about sums up it. For a man who's publicly declared his goal it to become a global icon, there's no more lucrative place to do so than via NY. Ok, so their roster's lackluster, but from a financial/marketing point of view, his worst year in NY will be better than his best in Cleveland.

Uncle Murda (Knicks/Brooklyn Nets) - First, if you're trying to recruit someone, you might not want to send a guy named "Murda" to do it. I'm just saying. Second, how can we have two guys repping the Knicks? It's not like there's a shortage of rappers in New Jersey or Brooklyn to pitch the Nets/whatever the name will be. Plus Murda's flow is just factually wrong: "I just spoke to Obama, he said you shoudl play for the Knicks." Actually, no. Obama's publicly said he wants Lebron on his hometown team, the Bulls. That one might go into my next edition of "Rap Lines That Make No F**king Sense".

Brisco (Miami Heat) - Basically goes with a, "hey, Miami's beautiful and you'll love it" argument, which is frankly pretty persuasive. But on a basketball level, even assuming Wade sticks around, the Heat are still a shaky team at best. Believe me, Bron's not excited about the prospect of Rafer Alston getting him the ball on a night in and night out basis.

Mikey Rocks (Chicago Bulls) - Behind the Knicks, Mikey's and the Bulls have the strongest case to make, although Mikey doesn't make it. For some reason he apparently wants to trade the dependable Luol Deng, and then never mentions Derrick Rose or Joakim Noah. In other words, feel free to blame Mikey for the lackluster pitch if Lebron goes elsewhere.

Chip tha Ripper (Cleveland Cavs) - I'm not sure if anything short of outright begging will keep Lebron on the Cavs, though Chip does his best to play the hometown guilt trip card, even shouting out Akron. If I were him I would have thrown in a "We fired Mike Brown for you, and we'll replace him with any coach you want" reference, but Chip did his best.

Nipsey Hussle (L.A. Lakers / L.A. Clippers) - Ridiculous. There's no way Bron's going to the Lakers (they can't afford him, plus Kobe wouldn't allow it), and while the Clippers have some cap space and a promising young team, Bron's not dumb enough to put his future int he hands of Donald Sterling. Nipsey's only real chance here was a, "Come to L.A. and we promise no one on our team will fuck your mom," which is a pit of a desperation move.

The Final Verdict: Cue up "Empire State of Mind", Bron's going to the Knicks. And believe me, I'll be more than happy to say "I told you so" when it happens.

Download "I Am the Man" Directly

Those interested can download the whole Don Cannon project here.