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Hate Listening to Puff Daddy & Ma$‘s “Been Around the World”Posted by Nathan S. on 05/01/12 | Filed under Humor, Opinion, Diddy, Refined Hate, Mase
That's exactly how I feel about Puff Daddy and Ma$e's "Been Around the World". Objectively it's not that bad, and you'd think I would have let go of some of the anger in the almost 15 years since the song first dropped, but nope. Just seeing Puffy and Ma$e's names attached to Wale's "Slight Work (Remix)" was enough to bring up all those old feelings. God I fucking hate this song - so why not hate watch the video again for old time's sake?
First off, I hate Puffy's "Player please, I'm the macaroni with the cheese" more than any other line in hip-hop history. Believe me, I know there have been stupider lines, but for some reason every time I hear Diddy mumble this shit it makes me want to go leave a flaming poop bag outside Bad Boy's offices. I think it's mostly the laziness that drives me crazy - you can literally hear Puffy thinking "Oh shit, now I have to come up with something that rhymes with 'player please'. Um...knees....bees....cheese...I got it, macaroni and cheese!" Yep, cheese rhymes with please, but Puff just called himself a delicious and cheap lunch option, which I doubt was what he was going for.
Second, while many would rightfully point to "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" as the height of the shiny suit era Puff ushered in, this video is actually a much better example of the "let's pay Hype Williams $1 million to make a video just because" school of video making. It doesn't make any real sense, but sure, let's film a stunt involving a plane running over some cars. And so Puff and Ma$e are going to middle eastern J-Lo's party, why jump out of the plane again? The don't have runways near the royal palace?
And last but not least, for the record I've got no hate in my heart for cunnilingus; what goes around comes around, it's just karmic oral sex. But Mas$ and Puffy are almost creepily obsessed with sticking their tongues in various female nether regions. Ma$s in particular doesn't seem to be able to complete a bar without talking about licking some ill na na:
* "Getcha hoe, lick her low..."
* "I make it my biz to see that all ladies come / Get em all strung from the tip of my tongue."
* "Lick em places niggaz wouldn't dare put they faces."
Now I'm actually curious Ma$e, what exactly are those places most people wouldn't dare put they faces. You can't just be talking vagina - you mean asshole? I don't know what it'd be, but some even weirder place?
Yes, I know it doesn't really make rational sense. Yes, I know I should just drink some chamomile tea or something and relax, but I can't. I really fucking hate everything about this song. I hate the David Bowie sample, I hate the image, I hate the rhymes. But you know what, it feels good to just bath in some hate every so often.
So feel free to take the plunge and list the songs/videos you irrationally hate the most in the comments below. Enjoy...