Fails of the Week: Rock Solid’s Fakery, Slo Down’s Oversized Ego & More!

Schadenfreude is a psychological terms used to describe someone who takes pleasure in the failure of others (aka haters), and while I certainly didn't derive any enjoyment from some of the epic f**k ups below, they were too egregious not to be called out. In the latest of an ongoing series that will include the best...or worst...fails of the week from the world of hip-hop, sports, pop culture and beyond, I examine St. Lunatic member Slo Down's ridiculous quest for more cash, one man's refusal to catch a foul ball before it nails his girlfriend and much, much more.

Slow Your Roll Slo Down

Completely random, but strangely fascinating. Slo Down, who everyone except his mom probably knows better as that one dude in Nelly's St. Lunatics crew who wore a mask, has recently launched a campaign to get Nelly to pay him more, insisting that his talents weren't adequately compensated. What talents? According to Slo, in addition to standing on stage, he "talked with his hands" in "ghetto sign language." Yep, you can't make this stuff up. Nelly's very reasonable response? "Shut the fuck up. You're lucky I even let you order room service when we were on tour." (That's not an exact quote, but it's a pretty accurate summation.) In Slow Down's defense, he is the greatest mask-wearing, back-up dancer in hip-hop history. Ok, he's the only mask-wearing back-up dance in hip-hop history.

Rock Solid Fakery

And you thought the Slo Down story was random. This week a video of some dude named Rock Solid, who clearly spends far more time injecting steroids than working on his rhymes, purportedly tracking down an internet shit talker made the rounds. I think we can all agree both that this is an incredible act of ignorance, but is clearly fake. Next time he needs a better actress behind the camera when he starts smashing windows. Still, I had never heard of Rock before now, so I have to admit this is a marketing success, though a huge fail for anyone who believes it and for humanity as a whole.

The College Football Arrest of the Year

The season hasn't even started but I'm already ready to hand out the college football arrest of the year. His name is Tyler Thomas, he was a Oregon State lineman, and I'll let the local Corvalis newspaper take over from here: "At about 4:51 a.m., police were called to 519 N.W. 14th Street after a 32-year-old woman reported there was a naked man in the upstairs office of her residence. When officers arrived, they ordered him to get on the ground several times, but he refused. Then Thomas, who had reportedly been drinking, got into a "three-point stance" and lunged at the officers, who Tased him." Wait, he'd "reportedly" been drinking? "Reportedly"!?

Can We Sterilize These Two?

Fuck it. We might as well make this an entirely random Fails of the Week. Only in the internet age is this type of thing possible. Let me see if I can possibly recap: A couple weeks ago Bo Wyble became minorly famous for ducking out of the way of a foul ball and letting it slam his girlfriend Sara Saco-Vertiz. But wait, the fails haven't even started. The instant fame caused the loving couple to break up, the break up got ugly, Bo threatened to release nude photos of Sara, and Sara responded by pre-emptively releasing semi-nude photos herself. Oh, young love. Thank god these two aren't having children.

Spot a Fail of the Week? Email me at nathan(@)refinedhype.com.