Fails of the Week: Freekey Zekey’s Man Boobs, an Assault With a Deadly Vagina & More!

Schadenfreude is a psychological terms used to describe someone who takes pleasure in the failure of others (aka haters), and while I certainly didn't derive any enjoyment from some of the epic f**k ups below, they were too egregious not to be called out. In the latest of an ongoing series that will include the best...or worst...fails of the week from the world of hip-hop, sports, pop culture and beyond, I examine Freekey Zekey's mitties, unicorn meat, an assault with a deadly vagina and much more...

Freekey Zekey's Man Boobs

Although he's apparently well known in certain circles, I didn't really know anything about Freekey Zekey until I came across his new video "White Boy Wasted" and I have to say, the man does have a nice pair of C cups. If you're going to appear shirtless in a video you don't have to look like 50 in "In Da Club", but you probably don't want to look like Jack Nicholson either. Hey Freeky Zeeky, you've got great New York boobs!

Um....Unicorn Meat/b>

Every year the website ThinkGeek.com rolls out a new fake product. It's a tradition that's stretched from 2005's ZapCam, a taser with a camera attaches so you could record taser victims, to this year's Canned Unicorn Meat, a delicious Spam-like product complete with that tagline, "The tag line for this new delicacy? “Pâté is passé. Unicorn, the new white meat.” It's a hilarious idea, of at least it was until they got a cease and desist letter from the National Pork Board for infringing on their "the other white meat" slogan. Thankfully the order was dropped after ThinkGeek explained, slowly and with great detail, that Unicorn Meat...doesn't actually fucking exist! "It was never our intention to cause a national crisis and misguide American citizens regarding the differences between the pig and the unicorn,” explained ThinkGeek's president Scott Kaufman. “In fact, ThinkGeek’s canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red, and not approved by any government entity.” Really National Pork Board? Really?

Assault With a Deadly Vagina

There's a new dance craze sweeping Brazil called Surra de Bunda, which roughly translates to "I'm going to try to break your nose with my pussy." (The actual translation is literally "Thrashing With the Booty/Booty Thrashing." Seriously. Props to my Portequese speaking wifey.) For the record, this isn't just some funny, one-off video, it is actually a craze in Brazil. You apparently can't go to a club in Rio without seeing some Surra de Bunda contest. And let's be honest, it's really only a matter of time before it catches on in the U.S. too. We love this kind of shit. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Vibe Interviews Kevin Federline...About Justin Bieber

This week Vibe.com was busy a promoting a brand new, exclusive interview. The headline of this interview? "What Does Kevin Federline Think Of Justin Bieber?" I'm sorry, what? It's actually hard for me to think of an interview I'd like to read less than K-Fed's views on the Biebster. Look out for more hard-hitting interviews from Vibe that no one will give a fuck about including "What Does MC Hammer Think of Mims", "What Does Jaleel White Think About the Jonas Brothers" and "What Does Mark Paul Gosselaar Think About Freekey Zeekey's Man Titties".