Dr. Dre’s Non-Existent “Detox” is the Biggest Fail in Music History

Last week the staff over at the mothership sat down to hammer out 2011's "Best of the Booth Awards" and I took the chance to look back at my selections for last year and there it was, an undeniable stain of my hip-hop resume. A blemish on my rap prediction record. I had picked Dr. Dre for "Comeback of the Year", assuming that 2011 would finally be the year we got "Detox". Sweet baby jesus was I fucking wrong.

Because the man's rightfully a legend amongst legendary producers and he's made approximately eleventy-billion dollars selling headphones, a money fetishizing hip-hop nation has been hesitant to criticize Dre. I get it. Dre's beats helped define the hip-hop landscape I came up in too and he's obviously financially successful, which erases a lot of sins, but do you understand the scale of "Detox"'s failure, both from a musical and financial perspective. Do you really?

Let's do this thing timeline style:

2002 - Dre first announces that he's beginning work for new album "Detox", which would be a concept album telling the story of a hitman and his family. You know how long ago 2002 was? Ashanti's "Foolish" was the biggest urban song of 2002.

2003 - Dre stops work on "Detox" to focus on his new artist, 50 Cent, and his "Get Right or Die Trying" album.

2004 - Dre says he's suspending "Detox" to focus on other production. Later changes his mind, says "Detox" will drop in 2005.

2005 - No "Detox". Dre scraps the first full version of the album, announces a 2007 release date.

2006 - No "Detox".

2007 - Dre scraps second full version of "Detox", no new release date.

2008 - Dre starts the year saying, "I'm just now, over the last couple of months, starting to feel that it's going to be right and it's something I can be proud of, and everybody is going to love it".

2008 - No "Detox".

2009 - Dre releases first official snipper of "Detox" via his Dr. Pepper commercial, confirms the album will be completed in November of '09.

2010 - Lots of action. In January Dre speaks on the "Detox" delay, saying "Well, I'm working on it, but also I've been working on other people's projects; you'll probably hear something in a year or so." In April first official single "Under Pressure" with Jay-Z leaks. In November "Kush" drops and is pushed as an official single.

2011 - "I Need a Doctor" released as an official single in February, heavy push. Release of "Detox" said to be imminent. New single with Eminem, "Die Hard" premiered during HBO boxing doc.

In November Dre announces hiatus from music. "Detox" places on indefinite hold until Dre gets the 'itch" to make new music back again.

2012 - Do you really think "Detox" is going to drop?

"Detox" delays have become a joke, but looking back over that timeline that looks less like the work of a well documented perfectionist and more like a psychological disorder.

For compare and contract purposes, Peter Jackson filmed and released the entire "Lord of the Rings" in less time than it's taken Dre to complete "Detox". When Dre started working on "Detox" Barack Obama wasn't even a Senator, he's now the President. The U.S. has invaded Iraq, fought a prolonged battle against insurgents and withdrawn all American troops in less time than it's taken Dre to complete "Detox".

We're not just talking "ha, ha, it's taken Dre a really long time on this album" anymore. Literally over 50 different artists and producers have confirmed that they've worked on "Detox" over the last decade. Just Blaze has confirmed that he's now heard three complete version of the album, all of which Dre has scrapped in their entirety. Millions have been spent on the recording and promotion of the album and its single, all so far for nothing.

It took Guns N' Roses longer to finally release "Chinese Democracy", but considering they broke up and overdosed several times over that period, while Dre's been constantly working, I don't think it's an exaggeration to call "Detox" the longest delayed and costliest project in music history. For any genre. Ever.

By no means does that make Dre a failure. Muhammad Ali lost fights, Jordan missed game winning shots. You can't be that great for that wrong without losing at least a handful of time. But those loses did happen, and to pretend otherwise is to turn Ali and Jordan from incredible people to empty symbols.

To everyone who's told me, "Detox' doesn't matter, Dre's making crazy money on Beats By Dre" I can't disagree more. The failure of "Detox" is as much a part of Dr. Dre's career as the success of "The Chronic". All of it is part of the man's career and to ignore either his biggest successes or biggest failures is a mistake.

Dre doesn't owe us an album, but he does owe it to us to deliver on a promise. So here's my biggest wish for 2012. I wish Dr. Dre would just stop pretending "Detox" is ever coming out, for his sake and ours. If he said, "Listen, at this point the product can't possibly match expectations and I'm just not passionate about being an artist anymore. I'm passionate about helping build artists like Kendrick Lamar and growing my business. "Detox' was a mistake, and I truly appreciate the fans who have supported me over the years, but it's over and I'm moving on."

Maybe then we could move on too.

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