Classic Verse: Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story” (Lyrics & Video)

When a reader pointed out to me this week that I'd so far neglected to include Slick Rick's classic-of-all-classics "Children's Story" in our classic verse series I of course assumed they were wrong. I couldn't possibly call myself a lover of hip-hop and make such an egregious oversight. Nope, turns out I actually am in idiot (somewhere my wife is nodding her head in agreement). So let's not waste any more time, I need to rectify this situation immediately. "Uncle Ricky, will you tell us a bedtime story..."

Lyrics are beneath the video:

Here we go...
Once upon a time, not long ago, where people wore pajamas and lived life slow,
Where laws where stern and justice stood, and people were behavin' like they ought to - good,
There lived a little boy who was misslead, by another little boy, and this is what he said:
"Me and you tike, we're gonna make some cash, robbin' old folks and makin' the dash",
They did the job, money came with ease, but one couldn't stop it's like he had a disease,
He robbed another and another, and a sister and a brother,
Tried to rob a man who was a D.T. undercover,
The cop grabed his arm, he started actin' eratic,
He said: "Keep still boy, no need for static",
Punched him in his belly and gave him a slap, but little did he know the little boy was strapped,
The kid pulled outta gun, he said: "Why'd you hit me?"
The barrell was set straight for the cop's kidney,
The cop got scared, the kid, he starts to figure: "I'll do years if I pull this trigger",
So he cold dashed, and ran around the block, cop radios in to another lady cop,
He ran by a tree, there he saw the sister, shot for the head, he shot back but he missed her,
Looked 'round good, and from expectations, he decided he'd head for the subway stations,
But (what), she was comin and he made a left, he was running top speed till he was out of breath,
Knocked and old man down, and swore he killed him,
Then he made his move to an abandonded building,
Ran up the stairs up to the top floor, opened up a door, there guess who he saw?
Dave! The dope fiend shootin' dope, who don't know the meaning of water nor soap,
He said: "I need bullets, hurry up, run!", the dope fiend rolled back a spankin' shot gun!
He went outside but there were cops all over, then he dipped into a car, a stolen nova,
Raced up the block doin' 83, rrashed into a tree near University,
Escaped alive, though the car was battered, rat-a-tat-tatered and all the cops scattered,
Ran out of bullets and he still had static, grabbed the pregnant lady and pulled out the automatic,
Point it at her head, he said the gun was full of lead, he told the cops, "Back off, or honey here's dead",
Deep in his heart, he knew he was wrong, so he lets the lady go, and he starts to run on,
Sirens sounded, he seemed astounded, and before long the boy got surrounded,
He dropped his gun, so went the glory, and this is the way I have to end this story,
He was only one teen in a madman's dream, the cops shot the kid, I still here him scream,
This ain't funny, so don't ya' dare laugh, just another case about the wrong path,
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast,
Goodnight.

Not really so much a classic verse as a classic song, but what do you want me to do; the entire thing's just one long verse? Come to think of it, since it is just one verse, doesn't that make it the most classic verse in hip-hop history? Regardless, it's easy to forget now, but at the time this was storytelling on a level no one had even come close to attempting previously, and frankly have only very rarely touched since. Rick's gift is to keep the rhymes simple so you could follow them easily, but still complicated enough to hold your attention. Knock em out the box Rick, knock em out.