This Is My Rifle: B**tches Ain’t S**t But….

Hey Ladies,

Before I get this started I just want to say that I’m not addressing all of you. I’m well aware that there are a large number of you out there who don’t fit the stereotypical image of women in the world today. I also know that it’s unfair to generalize when speaking about an entire gender but for the sake of the message I’m trying to get across, I’m going to do exactly that. I’m not a misogynist or sexist by any means, I just feel it’s necessary for me to share with you my thoughts and observations of your current state. I hope you appreciate my honesty.

So what the fuck happened? I know that you’ve never had it easy but it seems like you’ve taken a turn for the worse during the past decade. It’s almost as if the year 2000 hit and you regressed back in time at hyper-speed. I was trying to think of a particular period that it would be comparable to but I couldn’t think of anything that even slightly resembles your present day status.

Perhaps we, men, are the ones to blame for this. For thousands of years we’ve held you to unreasonably high standards and put you under an incredible amount of pressure to fit a completely unrealistic image drawn up by our own twisted imaginations. We’ve expected you to submit to our egos, accept your fate as designed by us and mold yourselves around our ridiculous ideas of what makes the “perfect woman”. Until recently, our attempts to completely dominate you was met with passive resistance because you knew that as long as you let us believe that we were in control, you could continue on as the true driving force behind human life. You knew that, despite what men thought, you were the superior sex.

That’s right, you are the superior sex. Sure, men are the physically dominant gender, but women are far advanced both mentally and emotionally. Since the beginning of time we’ve struggled to understand you because we just aren’t on your level. We’ve discounted your opinions and called you crazy but in reality we can’t grasp the depth of your thoughts and feelings because we don’t have your capabilities. As men we have 3 very basic functions; plant our seed, protect and provide. That’s it. And all 3 of those basic functions are in direct relation to you. We only exist because the universe has put us here to assist in pro-creation, protect the women and children and provide them with food and shelter. Women, on the other hand, you are the creators of life. Your body is an intricate and magnificent piece of architecture designed to create and facilitate life. That one aspect alone is far beyond anything that men could ever dream of accomplishing.

Maybe that’s why we’ve oppressed you for so long. Maybe we subconsciously know the power that you have and we want to spite you for it. But regardless of whatever subconscious sentiments may lie in the recesses of our minds, you are the reason for virtually everything that has come to be on this planet. Every invention, scientific advancement and work of art has been mostly the product of men but behind them was, in some aspect or another, a woman. You are the root of our thinking, the motivation and inspiration of it all but for some reason you let us win.

I’m going to repeat that. WE WON. You have been definitively defeated. You fell for our bullshit and now you are more oppressed than you’ve ever been. We let you believe that you have equal rights but you don’t. We have brought down to our level and now your human worth is defined by your physical appearance and willingness to play by our rules. We’ll even let you be a potential vice president, but only if you’re hot. We could give a fuck less if you can barely put a sentence together, if we can fantasize about having sex with you, we’ll gladly trust you to co-run a country because we know that you still have a group of men to answer to.

You gotta admit, the execution of our plan was nothing short of genius. We knew how to hit you where it hurts and use it against you. We took your genetic disposition to make yourself as physically attractive as possible, put there by your designer (God, the universe, whatever you wanna call it) because men are physical beings and in your search for a mate to create life with it was necessary for you to be appealing to the eye, and destroyed you with it. We used the media to perpetuate an image that was impossible for most of you to achieve and we told you that if you couldn’t become it, your chances at mating and accomplishing your greatest human achievement wasn’t going to happen.

And so you panicked. You looked at these women; the very small minority that we consider to be “perfect”, and did everything you could to be them. You put silicone and saline in your bodies, you wore clothing that was uncomfortable but was revealing enough to keep us sexually attracted to you and you dulled your intelligence. And even after you did all of that, we told you that you weren’t good enough. We said that you were still too intelligent to be desirable and you responded by removing any individual opinion you ever had altogether. Once you were sufficiently dumbed down we then found women that were even more “perfect” than before and we again told you that you were not meeting our standards. As a result your self-image became so warped that any confidence you had left imploded and the traits that made you significant disappeared forever.

Now we’ve got you right where we want you; as stupid and submissive as you’ve ever been. We’ve made abortion acceptable as a means of birth control not because we believe in your right to choose but because we fear the results of our own promiscuity. As appealing as you are to us sexually, we do not see you as being fit to mother our children. We’ve told you blatant lies like “all men cheat” because we want you to believe that we have an inherent need to conquer and spread our seed. But the truth is, we don’t have any non-sexual interest in you. The mental, emotional and spiritual connections that are essential in our relationships are long gone because we made you an empty shell of what you used to be. When you do have our children, we leave you to raise them on your own because we are lost in our own lie and we are convinced that there is somebody better out there. In turn, you’ve come to understand this as being normal. The ancient tradition of men and women coming together in love to further the human species is now but a distant memory.

When I think of defining this tradition, I think of the story of my grandmother and grandfather. My grandfather, a golden gloves winning boxer and all around absurdly large man, and my grandmother, weighing no more than 100 lbs and a little under 4 feet 8 inches tall, first met when my grandmother was a waitress at a restaurant in Alberta, Canada. My grandfather ate at this restaurant every single day for 3 years, helplessly in love with my grandmother and trying to find the courage to speak to her. This man who would stand in the center of a ring and relentlessly trade punches with his opponents, fearless to the highest degree, spent 3 years searching for the confidence to approach my grandmother and ask her out. When they finally did begin dating, they married soon after and she was by his side until his dying day.

One thing that I know for sure was that my grandfather understood the power that my grandmother had as a woman. He respected that relationship to the utmost and held it as his number one priority in life. He proudly fulfilled his duties as a man and provided my grandmother with a home to raise their children in. He appreciated what God had given him and I’m sure he looked back on the 3 years he spent waiting for the right words to explain to my grandmother just how much he admired her as some of the best of his life.

Stories like that one just don’t happen anymore. We’ve lost touch with what it means to have a real, unbreakable bond between a man and a woman. As men, we’ve fucked you up so bad that you think your value is dependent on how comparable you are to some distorted idea of what you should be. I’d like to come forward and say, let’s get you back to who you really are. Who gives a shit what the propagandists on television, in music, movies and magazines tell you what you have to do to be complete. You are complete as is. It’s when you try to become somebody you aren’t that you lose those special pieces of yourself that a real man will appreciate. Remember, we will only respect you as much as you allow us to.

Don’t listen to their lies anymore. The intelligent men of the world know who you are and are probably sitting at a table somewhere trying to build the courage to come over and speak to you. Just give him a minute. He’s scared to death right now.

(Jason James is an artist, freelance columnist and writer for RefinedHype.com. You can listen/download his most recent album, "Marvelous World Of Color", here and you can contact him here and here.)